Teenagers have plenty on their plates. Between school, friendships, social media, sports, family expectations and just figuring out who they are, some stress is totally normal.
But when that worry starts to lingers too long or feels hard to control, it might be a sign of something more.
“Anxiety in teens doesn’t always look like them saying, ‘I’m anxious,’” says Laura M. I. Saunders, PsyD, a psychologist who directs Hartford HealthCare’s Center for Gender Health. “Parents may notice irritability, tiredness, withdrawal or a teen suddenly avoiding things they used to enjoy. In children and teens, anxiety also frequently shows up as somatic, or physical, complaints.”
Here are six signs of anxiety in teens to watch for, and how to start the conversation.
1. Unexplained headaches or stomachaches
Some of the earliest signs of anxiety that you’ll see in your teen are actually physical.
“They may talk about a stomachache or headache long before they tell you they’re overwhelmed with worry,” says Dr. Saunders. “This is especially common as it relates to school avoidance or worry related to social or academic expectations.”
But don’t automatically assume that every physical symptom is caused by anxiety.
“Physical symptoms are real, and they deserve to be taken seriously,” she says. “Your teen’s doctor can help sort out what’s behind them, including whether anxiety may be part of the picture. When physical symptoms seem to fit a pattern only around school or at particular times, it’s more likely related to anxiety.”
> Related: 5 Ways to Get Rid of Your Headache
2. Avoiding school or activities
Is your teen asking to stay home from school more often, dropping activities they used to enjoy or finding excuses to skip social events?
“Avoidance can bring immediate relief from anxiety, which makes it very tempting,” says Dr. Saunders. “But when a teenager’s world starts getting smaller because of what they’re avoiding, that’s worth paying attention to.”
One skipped event isn’t cause for concern, but when it becomes a habit, parents should take notice.
“Try to look at the pattern, not just the moment,” she adds.
> Related: Why Stress Makes Your Stomach Hurt (and What To Do About It)
3. Worrying more than usual
Everyone worries, but with anxiety, that worry can start to feel constant and overwhelming.
“Some amount of worry is part of being a teenager,” says Dr. Saunders. “What we look for is worry that’s hard to turn off and takes up more emotional energy than the situation calls for.”
Your teen might look for reassurance or become preoccupied with:
- School performance.
- Friendships.
- Their health.
- Family problems.
- The possibility that something bad will happen.
“You know what’s typical for your teen,” she says. “If the worrying has become constant or feels bigger than the situation, trust that instinct and start a conversation.”
Want a Weekly Dose of Health News?
4. Irritability
It’s easy to assume that your teen’s mood swings are because of hormones, but that irritability can also be a sign of anxiety.
“Irritability or excessive moodiness is one of the ways anxiety can show up,” explains Dr. Saunders. “A teen who seems overly snappy or on edge most of the time may be dealing with more than they’re letting on.”
You might see them become frustrated or restless, or having more trouble concentrating than usual.
“When a teenager is short-tempered, our first instinct is often to respond to the behavior,” she adds. “It can help to pause and ask yourself what might be underneath it.”
> Related: 6 Signs You Have Anxiety Even If You Don’t Feel Anxious
5. Sleep changes
If your teen is having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, anxiety could be playing a role.
“Sleep and anxiety are closely connected,” says Dr. Saunders. “If your teen is lying awake because they can’t stop thinking or have thoughts spinning in their mind, that’s worth noting.”
An occasional bad night of sleep is normal for teens, but ongoing struggles aren’t
“What matters is whether sleep trouble is ongoing, especially along with worry or feeling on edge,” she adds. “It’s also important to keep phones out of bedrooms and limit screen use before bedtime.”
> Related: 6 Sleep Products That Actually Work, According to an Expert
6. Anxiety is getting in the way of everyday life
The biggest clue isn’t just one symptom. It’s about how anxiety is affecting your teen’s life and getting in the way of everyday activities.
“The question isn’t whether your teenager ever feels anxious,” says Dr. Saunders. “Anxiety is part of being human. The question is whether anxiety is impacting them in a way that interferes with the life they want to live.”
This means looking at how long symptoms last and whether they’re affecting school, relationships or other parts of daily life.
“Consider the whole picture,” she suggests. “Is anxiety showing up at school, at home, with friends or at bedtime? The more it gets in the way, the more helpful extra support can be.”
> Related: When Should I Consider Medication for Anxiety?
When is it time to get help for your teen’s anxiety?
Recognizing the signs of anxiety in teens is important, especially when symptoms keep coming back, get worse or start interfering with everyday life.
And many effective treatments are available, including cognitive behavioral therapy.
“Parents don’t need to have the diagnosis figured out before asking for help,” says Dr. Saunders. “If you’re seeing a significant change in how your teenager is doing day to day, or they’re telling you they’re struggling, that’s enough reason to start a conversation and seek out resources.”
