Stress or Anxiety: How to Tell the Difference — and What to Do About It

There’s a lot of talk about rising anxiety these days, and no one’s surprised. Then again, same goes for stress. So when life sets off alarm bells in your brain, which is it — stress or anxiety?

While the two often overlap, they’re not quite the same thing. Knowing the difference can help you manage how you feel, and decide whether it’s time to seek support.

An expert explains.

Stress vs. anxiety: “Happening right now” vs. “What if”

Stress is about right now.

“Stress is how we respond mentally and physically when something happens to us,” says Kelly Knowles, PhD, a clinical psychologist at Hartford HealthCare’s Anxiety Disorders Center. “It starts with a real and immediate stressor — something that’s happening in the moment.”

What counts as a stressor? Anything that demands your energy and focus.

Yes, anything. While that certainly includes objectively “bad” life events, like a breakup or an overwhelming workload, it can also include things that, on many levels, make you happy.

“Even good life events, like having a baby or starting a new job, can cause stress because they shake up our routine,” says Dr. Knowles.

> Why Adults Under 65 Should Have Annual Anxiety Screenings

Anxiety is about what if.

“Anxiety is the emotion we feel when we think something bad could happen — a potential threat,” Dr. Knowles explains. “A common phrase I hear from anxious patients is, ‘What if?’ For example, ‘What if someone judges me in this meeting? What if I get sick, and what would happen then?’”

These thoughts are a normal part of life, and with good reason. They urge us to prepare for important events, and take reasonable precautions.

But when “what-if”-worrying becomes constant or overwhelming, it’s time to reset.

> Related: 4 Signs It’s Time to See an Expert for Anxiety

When do stress and anxiety become a problem?

Stress becomes harmful when coping resources run low.

In small doses, stress can be motivating. In larger or longer-term doses, it can be a mental or physical health risk. How you hold up often comes down to your coping strategies and support system.

“It’s not the stress alone, but how we’re able to handle it,” says Dr. Knowles. “If you’re experiencing a lot of stress and don’t have the resources to cope — whether emotional, financial, or social — that’s when it can impact your body in negative ways.”

For instance, if you’re caring for a loved one who’s ill, you probably face major stressors on a daily basis: immediate, ongoing needs to prepare meals, manage health issues, attend medical appointments. But if you have respite support from family, emotional support from friends, and financial means to bring in outside help, you may be quite resilient to caregiver stress. If not, you may be at risk for stress-related health issues.

Anxiety becomes harmful when it takes over your thoughts

When anxious thoughts start to take over your day or feel impossible to control, it may be time to take a closer look.

“Of course you might feel anxious about whether you’ll get a promotion or if someone will say yes to a date — that’s normal.” says Dr. Knowles. “But when the level of distress or the time you spend worrying doesn’t match the actual situation, it can start to take a toll.”

Some clues: If worrisome thoughts are disrupting your sleep, relationships or work, or preventing you from doing things you normally would. If that’s the case, you may be dealing with an ongoing anxiety issue.

“It’s not just about feeling nervous now and then. It’s a pattern,” says Dr. Knowles.

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What to do about stress or anxiety?

Start by talking with someone you trust, or with a counselor or therapist. They may be able to help you process what’s going on and come up with a plan. “Sometimes, just having someone to talk to makes a big difference,” says Dr. Knowles.

When your stress or anxiety is persistent or interferes with your daily life, you may need more structured help. For chronic anxiety, one powerful tool is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), an approach that tends to make a big impact in a relatively short time.

“CBT helps you confront fears, manage emotions, and change patterns of thinking,” Dr. Knowles explains. “It works well for many people — and not enough people know it’s available.”

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